I hate tricare ...

So today I had a bit of a crying breakdown for no reason.  I learned that I had to change doctors again.  I guess the office the ER sent me to wasn't in the "tri-care network."  The list that I was given to choose from had 5 OBGYNs in Monterey and like 50 in Salinas, Santa Cruz and Freedom (where ever the f that is).  The first four we called wouldn't be able to see me until 3 or 4 weeks from now.  Finally the last one in Monterey said they would get me in for a follow-up ultrasound as soon as the referral went through.  I hope this doesn't mean that this doctor is the crappy one no one likes .....

So hopefully I will get in by the end of this week and see a heartbeat.  It would make me feel alot better about this crap :)

I think I was most upset that I would have to wait weeks to see if there is a heartbeat.

I was also upset that I wouldn't be able to to keep seeing the midwife.  If this was a perfect world and I could do what I want, I would use a midwife rather than a OBGYN.  I just feel (and maybe wrongly) that a doctor is going to be more like to push using drugs for the delivery.  I am know full-heartily that I want to have a completely natural birth (if possible).  But I will post more on why that is later.

So I am keeping my fingers crossed I get to see a heartbeat this week ....