39 and 40+ weeks ... how weird

How weird is it that our next blog post will be not of my super exciting pregnancy but of HELENA's birth!  I went to the OBGYN today (at 40 weeks and 2 days) for a check up.  Not only has NOTHING changed (no dropping, softening or dropping of my uterus) but our Dr informed us he would be going out of town next week.  So we had to make a decision to either wait until I was a week over and have some stranger deliver her or to schedule the c-section while our Dr was still available.  We decided to schedule the c-section for tomorrow 21 Oct.  It felt so weird.  Obviously we are excited to meet her ... but sad at the same time because her birth is going to be everything OPPOSITE of what our original birth plan was.  I am not going to lie, I started crying and freaking out as soon as the Dr left the exam room.  Of course it happened to be while I was peeing and BA refused to hug me until I was done.  It still doesn't feel real that in less than 24 hours, we will have a daughter.

So wish us luck!

BA took a picture of me sleeping (snoring) ... isn't pregnancy sexy?!?

Miss Effy and introducing Caleb Joshua ... he was due a week before Helena.   Once she gets here these three will be the rugby three amigos!

Walking at the dog beach, the day after her due date.  

On a walk with the pups today on my last full day of being pregnant.  PS - its not easy hiking up Carmel Hills with a huge African baby inside you ... I was sweating like a man!

38 Weeks . . . will this ever end?!?!

I kid, I kid ... well at least a little.  I think the past ~2 weeks have not only been the most uncomfortable but really it just sucks waiting.  Thinking every little ache and pain could be the start of labor. And yes, that means that although I HAVE to have a c-section, BA and I decided that I should labor first.  Our Dr agreed that we could wait, and so I will labor at home until the contractions are 5 minutes apart.

I feel better about the whole c-section this week.  Mainly because I have talked with our midwife ALOT about it and our Dr has agreed to consent to all of my request.  Here's some of my "demands":

1. That I be able to labor as long as possible, to not only prepare Helena for birth but to help my body know it is time.
2.  Not to have a screen put up for the operation.  I want to see her being born, the Dr even told me to bring in a mirror so I can see more.
3.  I want to expose her to the least amount of drugs as possible, so I will be getting a spinal block rather than an epidural.  The drugs administered are basically the same, however, a spinal block takes like 3 minutes to take affect and he will have her out 3 to 5 minutes later.  I am hoping this will allow her to remain alert and ready to breast feed as soon as I am in the recovery room.
4.  BA will take her as soon as possible from the nurses and do skin to skin.  We also have it written into the birth plan that she will receive no eye drops/ointment, vaccines or vitamin shots (of course cleared through her (hippie) pediatrician).  We also have asked that any tests/bathing/examinations be delayed until after she has had a chance to breast feed.

I also started doing acupuncture to get her butt in gear.  Part of the treatment is to stimulate certain points with electricity, so I took a video of it:

Creepy hand spasms

What has been "annoying" is that everyone else that I know is due this month have been having their babies early.  So of course that means I will be the lucky one who goes past my due date!

But either way ... how exciting is it that she is almost here!!

Helena at 39 weeks.  

37 weeks ... lots of tears and smiles

As this week comes to an end, I am having a hard time placing exactly where my emotions are.  This week has been full of very lovely events ... our 80's themed baby party, we got our maternity pictures back ... but  it has been clouded by the fact that our plans to have a home birth have been ended.

Checking on Leentjie during the EVC.  

Last Friday we went to the hospital to try and turn Helena (through an EVC) ... but the Dr couldn't get her to budge.  She is super comfortable head up, using her placenta for a pillow.  So unless some miracle happens soon and she decides to turn, we have to have a c-section.  And although I know the end goal to have a happy, healthy baby will be accomplished I can't help to be very very sad and to feel very helpless about this turn of events.

Its hard to explain how truly sad, both BA and I are about having to have a c-section ... and honestly I don't think many people get why.  I feel bad complaining about it when I know how very lucky we were to get that I got pregnant so quickly, that the pregnancy has been super easy and that she is very healthy.

When I imagined the day I gave birth to our daughter ... it didn't involve drugs, a hospital, or her being cut out of me.  In fact all of those things is exactly what I didn't want or believe how (my) a birthing experience should be.  I wanted to feel empowered and strong and surrounded only by people who I know care and love Helena.  I wanted BA to be the person who delivered her and to be the first person to hold her.  I actually was looking forward to the whole laboring process.

But BA and I decided several weeks ago that trying for a vaginal breech delivery (even in a hospital setting) isn't worth the risks.  Our OBGYN has agreed to let me wait until I go into labor to do the c-section.  I want to labor in order to let her get ready to be born.  I just think it would be weird to be chilling and floating around one second and then all the sudden some huge hand reaches in and pulls you out into the cold.  So as of now we are playing the waiting game ... I will go to the hospital as soon as either 1. my water breaks or 2. my contractions are 5 minutes apart.

Today was suppose to be the last meeting with our midwife ... but neither BA or I wanted to say goodbye.  She has been such a life saver and teacher through out this whole pregnancy!  Every session we have had with her has been at least two hours long!  I can't imagine how women do it with just an OBGYN.  It really means something to know that this person who is going to delivery your baby REALLY cares about you, your baby and the entire birthing experience.  So when she offered to continue seeing us through the rest of the pregnancy and for after care we jumped on the offer!

It is really comforting to have Maggie (midwife) around.  She knows from her own experience what its like to have your heart set on a home birth only to end up having a c-section.  Her story is so sad ... an OBGYN's bad call basically forced her into surgery she didn't want or need.  She had gone to her last OBGYN appointment to make sure everything was good to go and the doctor came to the conclusion that she was 2 weeks past due and her baby was going to be too large (she is a tiny tiny women) to deliver.  So he basically scared her into a c-section that same afternoon.  She had a son ... who was just over seven pounds ... def not too large.  She told me today that it took her a good year to get over that experience ... and what fueled her fire to become a midwife.

BUT on to the good parts of the week

80's themed Baby Party!  Our friends Amanda (and Marty) were kind enough to throw us a Baby Party ... and of course staying in themes of Marty/Amanda parties it was a costume party.  We got some awesome presents: a potty, books, a swing, monitors, leg warmers, real outfits, an Afrikaans Folk Song CD, and best of all the most radical baby party ever thrown!

BA and I in our party clothes! (Picture courtesy of Amanda)

My favorite picture of the night ... Jen, Meryn, Effy and Holden!  I hope Leentjie is as cute as these monkeys!

We also got our maternity pictures and here is the link to view them ... BUT as a warning there are some almost naked ones (of me not BA) ... so view at you own risk!

MATERNITY PICTURES!!!

We also moved Leentjie's cradle up to our room.  I think for now we have decided not to co-sleep.  Only because of mechanical reasons ... our mattress is too soft, we have too many pillows and I don't want to not share our blankets.  So she'll sleep in her cradle 12 inches or so from me.

Her cradle so we don't smash her.

The big chore this week is to pack a bag for the hospital ... 2 weeks left and she can come any day!