Because in this day and age, you only love your children if you bore the rest of the world with blogs about them and the stuff they do. Shit no one else cares about.
Today we had our first official appointment with Maggie. The actual exam lasted about 15 minutes ... with ten of those searching for the Gypsy's allusive heartbeat ... and the other hour and 15 minutes consisted of us making making fun of BA and talking about nutrition. Maggie, Carol (her apprentice) and I agree we heard like 5 nano-seconds of the heartbeat. She offered to let me come back next week (12 weeks) when the uterus starts to turn up and move out of the pelvis ... making it easier to hear the heartbeat. But I said no, that I feel confident everything is going as well as can be.
Maggie and Carol did challenge us to try and stop shopping at the commissary and regular grocery stores and start going to the farmer's market and local farms to get our produce, milk and eggs. That nutrition I get now (or in a few weeks when I can stomach more things) is very important to the future health of the gypsy. And both BA and I have always agreed that we are going to try raise our children not on the standard American diet. So I guess we need to stop saying it and start doing it. As soon as we got home BA made us some fresh vegetable juice ... which I couldn't force myself to drink :(
I can't wait until I look pregnant and not just fat ....
Maggie using handheld Doppler to try and let us listen to the heartbeat. What I didn't know was the sound you hear really isn't what the heartbeat sounds like. It is the noise the machine produces from the returning sound waves.
Using the fetoscope to try and feel and hear the actual heartbeat.
So its official, we have a midwife. Her name is Maggie Bennett (http://www.gentlebirth.net/) and I feel really relieved. We met with her Thursday to ask her questions about her practice ... questions like what would disqualify me as a patient, how many babies has she lost (which is ZERO in over 30 yrs of practicing), what scenarios would she send me to the hospital for, etc ... and both BA and I really connected with her. Although I think he was won when we first walked in and her cat jump directly into his lap (for some reason he LOVES cats). 2 hours of chatting later, we hired her on the spot.
I also found out that Tricare will cover part of midwife care. Maggie said that her past military clients have gotten almost half of her fee back. So when I went to see my regular Doctor (not my OBGYN) on Friday he put in a referral for midwife care. So cross your fingers it gets approved. My first official appointment with Maggie is next Thursday.
BA and I have decided to do the prescreening blood test. This testing provides a risk assessment for open neural tube defects (NTD), abdominal wall defects (AWD), down syndrome (trisomy 21), trisomy 18 and SLOS (Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome). The first test is done between 10-13weeks, so this upcoming Tuesday I have an appointment with my OBGYN to have blood drawn. You don't get the results back but they are added to the second round (15-20 weeks) and then a 'how likely the baby is to have any of these diseases' numbers are given to you. The scary thing is there can be false positives. I haven't even really thought about what we would do. And surprisingly I am not going to :)
My next OBGYN appointment is in four weeks. I am going to continue to see both him and Maggie through-out the pregnancy. So I am being greedy and getting the best of both worlds ... because I can. :)
As I was doing my hair last night before our friends, Marty and Amanda, came over for dinner, BA came into the the bathroom and said: "I can't wait until the baby gets here" "Why is that?" "Because didn't you see the awesome bathtubs in the Babies 'R Us flier? They even have spa baths with little showers. Its going to be so cute giving the baby a bath."
Who knew men lose their minds over babies too ....
BA and I watched this documentary recently and it was really very interesting. I attached the trailer, but you can watch the whole version on Netflicks or in parts on YouTube. But I highly recommend it, even if you don't agree with midwives or home births.
I do believe the act of birthing has been taken away from women. My personal opinion (and only that) is why would you spend 40 weeks not drinking, eating certain foods, taking medicines, or drinking caffeine to pump your baby full of toxins right as they enter the world? Seriously take 20 minutes and do a little research of the possible side effects of an epidural to both mother and baby. No thank you.
I also understand that labor is one of the most painful things you will ever go through but why would you want to numb yourself and not wholly experience one of the most beautiful processes in life? Or be the very first person to hold that baby? I am the one who had to give up my beloved Old Spice deodorant and switch to a natural one (which doesn't work half as well). I am the one whose ass is expanding by the minute ... so why would I chose NOT to be the first one who gets to hold the baby?
Now I will step off my soapbox ... for this post anyways ...
2 days and a wake up until our Dr appointment. I really really hope everything is okay. If it is we have decided to tell everyone at 12 weeks. I talked to my bestie ... Christain ... and she is going to help us make our announcements. So keep your fingers crossed :)
Last night we went to dinner and a movie with Josh and Molly. BA met Josh through rugby. Super sweet couple and guess what ... Molly is one week more pregnant than me. Before we met them for dinner BA asked if he could tell them. I felt a little weird about it, because I don't want to have to un-tell them if anything happens. But I could see BA really wanted to, so I agreed that if an opportunity came up in the conversation he could tell them. Well of course 3 beers in, he awkwardly kept trying to "casually" bring it up. Finally I had to tell them, "what Francois is trying to say is I am also pregnant." Insert embarrassing exclamations of excitement and congratulations and a gross high-five (between BA and Josh ... NOT Molly and I).
This week has been quite uneventful ... just really busy with the end of the quarter stuff, as next week is finals. I did do two things related to this baby-thing:
1. Ordered my maternity uniform
2. Saw a nutritionist
As of right now my regular uniform doesn't button, but I don't want to wear my maternity uniform just yet. Fortunately I have a skirt that is a very tight squeeze but still buttons, although I don't think it will be for much longer :( Good thing we only have to wear uniforms once a week on Tuesdays!
I went to see the nutritionist because I wanted to make sure I was eating the right way for pregnancy. I don't want to overeat, they say you only need 300 calories extra a day, and I want to make sure I am eating enough. She said that I was overall a very healthy eater ... although it kinda comes with the territory of being a vegetarian ... but I needed to ensure I got more calcium.
Also I didn't know that pregnant women shouldn't eat canned food!!! I guess manufactures use BPA as a sealant for cans ... even organic companies. Here is a link to an article published about it: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-05-19-cans19_ST_N.htm
Just a little over a week until I meet with the Doctor. I really hope I like him, because if not BA and I are going to have to make some hard decisions.
BA, Homer, me and our Secret Gypsy on a recent 5-mile hike. Our friend Amanda went too but she was taking the picture. Soju was busy being an asshole running around and refused to get in "the family picture."
So I am really unhappy about the whole OBGYN thing. The referral went through tricare today, and so I excitedly called the OBGYN to schedule my follow-up ultrasound. Well unlike they promised on Monday, their as "soon-as-possible" is 22 March. 19 days, or 456 hours from today. So of course I cried, because that is what crazy pregnant ladies do, in the parking lot outside the free tax prep office on DLI (BTW so pissed that the state of Iowa think I owe the $425 dollars in taxes when I don't even live there).
Then BA suggested that we just use a midwife. Which was slightly shocking at first ... we would have to PAY for the midwife. And for those of you who don't know the African, he is cheap. In fact that is why he doesn't believe in prostitution ... why pay for something you can do yourself?
But when I mentioned we would have to cover the cost ... he said something almost sweet, "the money doesn't mean anything, I want you to be happy. And I want you to be mentally stable and stop crying in parking lots."
Still no referral to see the doctor no one else seems to want to see. Called tricare this morning and they have no record of a new referral. I will admit I am not the most patient person ... but come on its has been almost 48 hrs. Called the lady who supposedly put it in and had to leave a message. Almost 3 hours later still waiting on her to call me back.
It really sticks in my craw that instead of going to an ultrasound in 4 hours to see if there is a heartbeat ... I am sitting by the phone waiting for a lady to return my call to say whether or not she did her job (and what she promised she would do right away).
I guess it could be worse, I could live in a third world country where no prenatal care is given. But by almost 30, I would have roughly 7 or 8 children and probably not be as freaked out as I am now. I don't know how people do this over and over. I am about 99.5% sure this will be BA's and my only biological child.
So today I had a bit of a crying breakdown for no reason. I learned that I had to change doctors again. I guess the office the ER sent me to wasn't in the "tri-care network." The list that I was given to choose from had 5 OBGYNs in Monterey and like 50 in Salinas, Santa Cruz and Freedom (where ever the f that is). The first four we called wouldn't be able to see me until 3 or 4 weeks from now. Finally the last one in Monterey said they would get me in for a follow-up ultrasound as soon as the referral went through. I hope this doesn't mean that this doctor is the crappy one no one likes .....
So hopefully I will get in by the end of this week and see a heartbeat. It would make me feel alot better about this crap :)
I think I was most upset that I would have to wait weeks to see if there is a heartbeat.
I was also upset that I wouldn't be able to to keep seeing the midwife. If this was a perfect world and I could do what I want, I would use a midwife rather than a OBGYN. I just feel (and maybe wrongly) that a doctor is going to be more like to push using drugs for the delivery. I am know full-heartily that I want to have a completely natural birth (if possible). But I will post more on why that is later.
So I am keeping my fingers crossed I get to see a heartbeat this week ....
I had my follow up visit today. My HCG levels almost doubled between Friday and Sunday, which is good. It ruled out an ectopic (HCG levels would have slightly increased), a molar pregnancy (HCG levels would have exploded) and a miscarriage at this stage (HCG Levels would have decreased).
The Midwife - who is married to the ER doctor AND a prior Navy Nurse - did another ultrasound. This time around she showed and explained everything she was looking at on the screen. We saw a very distinct gestational sac AND a yoke sac. But not fetal pole or heartbeat ... I have a follow up on 02 March.
As I left the Dr Office, I was handed a brochure on "The California Prenatal Screening Program." So now added to the worrying about this not being a viable pregnancy, I have the pleasure of worrying about what can go wrong if it is a viable pregnancy.
My acupuncturist put it best, "You first worry about IF you can get pregnant. When you do, you worry IF you'll be able to carry it into the second trimester, then you worry IF something is wrong with your baby. Then you have the baby and a whole world of worries open up you never knew existed."
I have been having cramping before I knew I was pregnant. Actually, I thought that the third time around was going to be a no score. But I was wrong.
Who says hospital gowns can't be sexy??
Since I don't have an OBGYN yet, the nurse in charge of doing to prenatal briefs suggested I get permission to go to the ER (yes active duty members need permission to go to the emergency room ... can you believe it?) and just make sure everything was okay.
Well six hours, a blood test and an ultrasound later I still wasn't sure what was going on. The attending Doctor ... who has been a Flight Surgeon for the Navy ... said that it was too early to be able to know anything 100%. That there was three ways this could go: 1. it was normal and the cramping I had was from implantation 2. it was a ectopic or 3. it was a molar.
He wants me to come back to the lab on Sunday and have my blood drawn again. And then follow up with a OBGYN on Monday. If my HCG level double ... than that is a good sign that this is a normal pregnancy. If my HCG level decrease .... miscarriage. If my HCG level stay the same ... ectopic. If they shoot up exponentially ... molar.
As the title reads, I decided to try and start a blog (eww) not because I have anything important to say but because maybe one or two people might be interested in following my PREGNANCY and beyond.
In fact as of today, we still haven't told our families or friends. Why? Because I am very superstitious. I think we will wait until I am past 12 weeks to tell my family. I think I am going to send cards in the mail. I find it really uncomfortable and almost embarrassing telling people I am pregnant. Its a weird feeling.
Actually I am not telling them now because if this pregnancy doesn't pan out, I don't want them to have to be sad too. Or want to talk about it afterwards.
The other day I had to tell my program advisor that I was pregnant and I could feel myself blushing and had trouble breathing. The whole time I wondered if he knew I was married ... so he wouldn't think I am some "harlot" who was having a child out of wedlock. Why? I have no idea .... blame it on the hormones.
And the plan is to surprise the African's family this summer when we go to South Africa. To prepare her for the surprise, the time he is there alone before I come he is going to complain to his mother about how fat I have gotten. I think she will like the surprise, but Francois has warned me she will cry. I hope that my crazy emotional self doesn't start to cry as well. For no other reason than I probably won't be able to lose all the weight.
